


The Uncontested Memelord

by BirbMuffin



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Because Ice Wolf Doesn't get enough love, Except Grillby's, Memes, Rocky the pet rock, Spaghetti, There is Grillby's btw, implied sadness, ketchup, of course, puns, what other food is there?, you work for Ice Wolf!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 17:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20118529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirbMuffin/pseuds/BirbMuffin
Summary: Alternately titled: I Don't Know What The Heck I'm DoingYou get nosy, and Sans gets an idea.If you like Undertale and memes, this is for you.Please go easy on me, this is my first ever work. Thanks.Enjoy!





	The Uncontested Memelord

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [memeing across time and space](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5222099) by [threefourthstime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/threefourthstime/pseuds/threefourthstime). 

"They just showed up one day and...  
...asserted themselves."  
These words ring in your ears. You had been shopping today, you were low on ketchup and other necessities. Out of curiosity and slight boredom, you had asked the shopkeeper about the brothers you were staying with. You weren't being...  
Well...  
Okay you were totally being nosy but that was beside the point. You had a right to know about the people you were staying with, and that included the juicy gossip goshdarnit!  
But..  
Where HAD the brothers come from? If they weren't originally from Snowdin, what part of the Underground did they come from? And why did they move? You are very curious now, and you're planning on asking them as soon as you get home. Currently you're trudging by Grillby's, and it looks warm and inviting, nestled between the happy little trees. If not for the temperature-sensitive human food in your heavy bags, you would love to go and warm up there. You've actually secured a job with Ice Wolf recently and have money to spend. But as it is, you continue onward. Though the walk isn't long, you decide to play some music ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 ) to pass the time better.  
When you arrive, Papyrus is home making the best spaghetti you've ever seen him prepare (which means he left out the glitter and chocolate sprinkles for Rocky this time).  
"Smells good Paps! How are the puzzles today?"  
"OH! HUMAN, YOU'RE HOME! THE PUZZLES ARE DOING WELL! I HAVE PREPARED MY ARTISAN SPAGHETTI FOR YOU AND MY BROTHER! ROCKY IS NOT HAVING ANY TODAY AS MY BROTHER SAYS THEY NEED TO GO ON A DIET! WHILE I DON'T BELIEVE THERE COULD BE ANY DIET FOOD BETTER THAN SPAGHETTI, I WOULD RATHER NOT RISK IT. I'M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND."  
"I do. We wouldn't want Rocky getting clogged arteries would we?"  
"WHAT?"  
"Never mind Paps. I've got the groceries, I'm gonna put them away mkay?"  
"ALRIGHT!" You move to the fridge and start putting things away. While you do, those words ring in your head again. You decide to just go for it after you finish unloading the last of the ketchup. For a few moments the kitchen is filled with nothing but the sound of bubbling water and violent spaghetti stirring. When you're done, you take over making the sauce. At least that much can be semi-edible. Of course you'd never tell THE GREAT PAPYRUS any different.  
"Hey Papyrus? Why did you and Sans move to Snowdin? And-" At the question, Papyrus nearly lets go of the wooden spoon he's stirring with. And... Is that orange sweat? Huh. The more you know.  
"AHEM...WELL..."  
"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine, I totally get it. I'm being super nosy, sorry."  
"NO, IT'S FINE, YOU DIDN'T KNOW. ACTUALLY I AM NOT SURE THAT I KNOW MUCH EITHER. IT IS ALL VERY DISTANT. BUT YOU DESERVE TO KNOW IF YOU'RE LIVING WITH US, IT'S ONLY FAIR. YOU SHOULD ASK SANS, HE REMEMBERS BETTER THAN I DO." You nod thoughtfully. Now that you've heard this, your curiosity is eating away at your insides even more.  
"I'll do that Paps." The spaghetti and sauce are done now, and you set them out to be served.  
"GO AND GET HIM FOR DINNER, I'M SURE HE'S AT GRILLBY'S. YOU CAN ASK HIM WHEN YOU SEE HIM."  
"Okay, see you in a bit!" Maybe you hurry out a little faster than strictly necessary due to your rabid curiosity. Maybe you don't. But either way you end up at Grillby's faster than normal. You definitely took the ice tunnels for efficiency so the food doesn't get cold, even though you dislike them. Definitely.  
When you reach the warmth that is Grillby's you let out a sigh of relief. It's not just the air that's warm, the atmosphere of the place is too. And the bartinder's pretty hot. You receive various greetings from the kind and friendly monsters of the town as you walk towards Mr. Funnybones himself. When you get there, you tap his right shoulder and jump off to his right. When he turns in the wrong direction you laugh and tap his other shoulder. He turns and glowers at you playfully.  
"Dude, how did you fall for that AGAIN? There's no possible way you didn't know I was there, the whole place said hi when I walked in."  
"tibia honest, i wasn't paying that much attention."  
"Hah, were you lending an ear to someone else? 'Cause I don't see yours anywhere."  
"ouch, that hurts. right here." He points to his sternum.  
"Pft, c'mon you. Let's get home before the spaghetti gets cold. It's not as good that way. Also, I have something to ask you. Also also, I bought more ketchup."  
"buddy, you're a lifesaver. let's go." The two of you walk out the door and into the crisp, pine scented air.  
"so what's this question that's got you so excited?" Were you that obvious? Or was it just that Sans was so freakin' observant? The world may never know.  
"Well I was talking to the shopkeeper while I was grocery shopping today, and she mentioned you guys just kind of popped up in Snowdin one day. And Papyrus says his memory is hazy about the whole thing. So what happened?" Sans pauses, his smile dropping a bit. He seems to think a bit, and then lights up again, then goes back to his 'neutral' grin. All of this happens in a fraction of a second, you barely have any time to process it before he's talking again.  
"well, buddo, the reason for that is a pretty big secret. 's been hidden from most of the underground actually." Wow, that sounds pretty important.  
"Whoa, really?"  
"yeah. you ever wondered why there's so few skeletons? why there's just me and my bro?" You had in passing, so you nod.  
"that's because of what happened. 's the same reason we moved, we had to get away. we were pretty young, and i was caring for pap by myself. snowdin was the best solution." Okay, okay, but WHAT HAPPENED?  
"hey, settle down, don't get so rattled. like i said, i raised pap by myself. our parents weren't around..." He looks down, a little sadly you think.  
"Oh, Sans, I'm sorry to drag up bad memories. What... happened?" You look at his expression, and it seems to be on the edge of cracking. And are his shoulders shaking??? Oh noooo! Don't be sad!

"well, you see... our parents went off to fight in the skeleton war. they never returned."  
...  
It sinks in.  
His mask breaks. He bursts into laughter.  
You slowly put your face in your hands...  
...and scream.  
After you calm down a bit, you can focus on coherent thoughts again.  
"Was any of that true?!!? And how do you even know about that meme?!!" You are only met with hearty guffaws. You sigh. It HAD been a pretty personal question... And this is SANS you're talking about. Just what exactly were you expecting? He's the kind of guy who won't tell you that kind of stuff unless he HAS to, or the world is ending or something, and probably even then he'd be vague as shiz. You sigh again.  
"Come on, let's get home, you goofball. And stop laughing, I'm telling Papyrus what you did, he'll help me get vengeance for this." He calms down a bit, and you continue your walk.  
You smile and decide to stop prodding. He'll tell you when he's ready, or not at all, and that's okay. It's really none of your business in the first place. In the meantime, though...You're getting Rocky off that diet. Even if it means sacrificing your taste buds and/or your sanity.  
You'll have your revenge.

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to threefourthstime and a certain friend for inspiring this beautiful monstrosity. You know who you are. I won't tell a fibula, I wrote this entirely for the lolz. Tibia honest there aren't that many memes but eh.  
No regrets!
> 
> Also, how many did I get with the link? I'm thinking not many, you people are smart.


End file.
